Wedding's. Yes, that's right, you read correctly. Michael and I had not one but two Wedding Celebrations. Something that I feel is not out of the norm now, but it definitely was 7 years ago. We have been lucky now to watch a lot of our friends and some family marry since our Wedding's in 2012. Every time we attend a wedding we can't help but reminisce about our own. The unique and personalized things that we chose to reflect us and our relationship. The people and moments you cherish and wouldn't change for a second. Then naturally the things that have you thinking ugh, that's so cool/different, I wish I would have done that. Then on the other hand if I'd have known I would have done that differently or not at all. If I knew then what I know now, right?
Hawaii March 2012
A simplistic lei ceremony at Old Airport Beach, Kona on the Big Island. We were barefoot, toes in the sand. We were fortunate to have a light overcast and a cool breeze. Ocean waves were the back round music for our ceremony. I wore a strapless flowing gown with a blush sash and beading detail in the center. I had styled my own hair with paper flowers made from a plant on Hawaii. Mike wore brown dress pants rolled up and a plain white dress shirt. There was no exchange of personalized vows or rings, but an exchange of leis made of yellow and purple orchids. Our photographer was our loved ones, picture ideas made up on the spot, we were sure to take many. Afterwards we went out for dinner at a restaurant called Huggos with an ocean side view. Thank yous and love notes were shared during dinner. Later a couple of drinks in a small sand bar were had. We were lucky to have my dad's side of the family with us (Papa, Grandma, Aunt, Uncle and Cousins). An amazing Hawaiian family vacation, with a minimalist wedding smack dab in the middle.
Winnipeg September 2012
I woke up that day with my girlfriends, starting the day by beautifying ourselves for the photo shoot. We had stayed the night in Portage La Prairie because we decided we would do our photos in my grandparents backyard with their beautiful gardens. I revealed my second wedding dress (made possible thanks to mom) to Mike whom wore his full attire of dress pants, tie and vest which had his Papas pocket watch tucked in safely. I wore again a strapless dress this time made of Spanish lace with a small bead work detail on the hip area. There was overcast during our pictures, which was nice as I don't think any of us got too hot. Towards the end of the photo shoot it did start misting, this allowed for some cool pictures. Before leaving Portage everyone enjoyed some brunch and mimosas then headed to our destination at Breezy Bend, where our second ceremony and reception would take place. Once we arrived our "outdoor ceremony" was now moved inside due to the rain. The indoor set up did turn out lovely, my diy blue bottles filled with baby's breath lined the isle. My brother James and dear friend Denise waited on stage to officiate the wedding. We did not require commissioner as we were already legally married.
My bridesmaids walked down the isle to Landslide by Stevie Nicks. My dad walked me down to I'm There Too by Michelle Featherstone. I was nervous and excited, seems like every great moment gives you these conflicting feelings. Excited and nervous to stand up in front of all of our family and friends, to share our love story with and exchange our personalized vows. I wasn't the only nervous one as Mike forgot to spit out his gum, lucky for him my brother did some quick thinking and popped it in his own mouth. Denise & James did an amazing job officiating our wedding, personalizing it, matching our beliefs and involving our guests. The little slip ups throughout made it even more special, providing some comedic relief. Once the ceremony was over I did a quick hair change and Mike and I snuck off to take a few more pictures.
140 guests sat down for a delicious 5 course meal and unlimited beverages. Almost everyone in the Wedding party made a speech, the parents, and Mike and I made a thank you speech. Maybe not a lot of guests were thrilled about it, but I enjoyed every story and heart felt word said. I'm a sucker for that part of weddings. My brother then showed his slideshow he made for Mike and I while he shed tears, again so much love. One of my bridesmaids sang Only Fools Rush In, and Mike's grandma sang also. Then there was nothing but merriment filled with dancing, drinking, and photo booth goofiness. Mike and I danced to Pearl Jams Just Breathe. My granny and gramps danced as the longest couple married of 48 years. There was the garter and bouquet toss, mothers & father dances. Many Mumford & Sons dance offs, capped off by a late night lunch of poutine and turkey smokeys. After the guests had all left, Mike and I caught a cab to The Fort Garry Hotel where we spent a few nights stuffing our face with the best room service and a day spent in the Hammam pampering ourselves at Ten Spa.
Would I have had only one wedding? Yes, if everyone could have made it to Hawaii. Was that realistic, most definitely not. If for some reason that would have been possible, Hawaii would have been more intricate, to what degree, not sure and what that would have cost probably outrageous. We would have hired a photographer, needed a larger venue for afterwards etc. It also would have changed the whole dynamic of our trip. We potentially would not have experienced as much of the island as we did, or get to have the intimate moments together we did. Other than that the only thing I would have changed about Hawaii is booking ourselves a night away after the ceremony just us two for a mini honeymoon like we did at home.
As for the home wedding, I actually would have changed quite a bit. We made a lot of our decisions based on the fact that we did not have much experience not many friends were married before us. We had to decide a balance of our vision and what traditions we would keep. The largest change I would have made would be to scratch our wedding parties. Friends don't kill me for saying this. Reason being, none of my friends are more or less important to me, they all mean so much to me and hold a special place in my heart. So to appoint someone Maid of Honor or have a hierarchy of sorts, I would not have done. No pressure to buy dresses or shoes, no one standing up at the front for the ceremony except for Mike and I. No head table, just for everyone to come as a guest and enjoy the evening. I would have had my mom and dad both walk me down the aisle. I would have had restrictions on our open bar. Remove shots all together, people drinking all day was more than enough alcohol. I would have definitely said no to last minute invitees and people Mike and I were not directly close with, and not felt bad about it. I have some very dear friends today that I wish could have been apart of this cherished memory. Do not invite people out of courtesy, it's your damn day, you probably won't even talk to them again after the event, and weddings are not cheap. We forgot to arrange transportation after the wedding, hence the cab ride, a limo would have been nice to leave in. If we could have paid for the wedding without a social I would have done that. I found the social the highest part of stress in our wedding journey, between gathering prizes and worrying about ticket sales. In the end we were quite successful thankfully. I also probably wouldn't have had a shower either because we didn't "need" anything. Like I said a lot of the decisions we made were based on tradition, we do this because that's what other people do, that's what you're supposed to do. Secondly, we did not experience more than two weddings prior to ours. We stretched ourselves financially with our home wedding. I wish we would have removed the pressure of what we should do. I think in turn that financial pressure would have been alleviated from us and our guests.
Things I do not regret was on the day of the wedding I was able to let go of all the little things that did not line up, I didn't get upset when we were moved inside, there were many little decorating details that were missed by Breezy. I said to myself that can wait, today only happens once. I had a very strict rule on what music could be played which excluded any social music, not once do I regret that. Our food was amazing, from the 5 course meal to the late night lunch. Our decor was minimalist and romantic. Our flowers were exactly what I envisioned. We had the kindest and incredibly talented photographer. I danced the night away, used our photo booth loads and drank way too much!
Having two weddings was not everyone's cup of tea, as doing things completely your way isn't ever. We figured if anyone had an issue with it, they didn't need to come, pretty plain and simple. Our home wedding brought everyone we cared for and had left a mark on our heart under one roof. Everyone who had supported and impacted our lives in some way. It was truly a very special day.
I do feel a large majority of people must look back on their wedding day and wish they could have changed some things. I think that happens because life happens, situations change, dynamics change and people change. A large part is the evolution of myself. I am more confident of myself and what is important to me, I question myself a lot less and have stripped away everything that is not me.
Our wedding's were days that I will never forget. They were beautiful, encapsulated so much love, laughter, and happiness. Most importantly it marked the next chapter of Mike and I's adventure together.
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